A series of terrible deaths: Rosie
by LadiesGuy337755
Summary: I hate Rosie more than Caillou and I wanna see her die really violently (and I am not the only one). If the ratings are good, I will make another series for Caillou!
1. Chainsaw

Caillou was really bored one rainy afternoon just playing all by himself in his room. He was waiting for Rosie to wake up from her nap so they could play "Knight rescues princess" like she promised.

After an hour, Caillou's little Rosie walked into his room, eager to play with her big brother. "Caillou and Rosie play!" yelled the two-year-old girl excitedly. "Okay Rosie," Caillou began in his irritating voice, "Let's go to the Garage! Daddy has a new tool that would make a very nice sword!"

"Yay!" Cried Rosie. The two made their way to the Garage where Caillou found Daddy's chainsaw just lying on a wooden table. Caillou and Rosie's game turned out to be really fun where Caillou was swinging the Chainsaw around, pretending to fight a dragon, until a drop of rain from the leaky ceiling fell onto the chainsaw, causing it to short-circuit and start on its own. Caillou could not control the wild device, and it eventually ended up shredding Rosie's stomach, causing blood and parts of her internal organs to go flying everywhere.

Mommy and Daddy soon heard the chainsaw noises and Rosie's violent squealing and immediately ran to the Garage. They were horrified at the sight of Caillou struggling with Daddy's bloody chainsaw and Rosie crying and screaming at the top of her lungs and running around the garage like a deranged lunatic with all her insides spilling everywhere, until she eventually succumbed to her injuries and fell dead on the floor in front of Mommy and Daddy, spewing out the last of her blood and internal organ particles in their faces.

Daddy angrily grabbed the Chainsaw from Caillou and turned it off with ease. Caillou did not know what to say to Mommy and Daddy, who were staring at him with real angry looks, and had drips of blood and flesh on their faces.

"CAILLOU," Mommy said in a furious tone, "DADDY AND I HAVE BEEN VERY PATIENT WITH YOU, BUT THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!" Tears began forming in Caillou's eyes and he whimpered, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! Rosie and I were just playing….." Daddy was really really angry now.

"JUST PLAYING?! JUST PLAYING!? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU AND ROSIE NOT TO PLAY WITH ANY OF MY TOOLS?! ESPECIALLY MY CHAINSAW!?" Yelled Daddy.

"THAT'S IT, CAILLOU!" Yelled a furious Mommy. Both parents then proceeded to strip Caillou butt naked and threw him into the car. They drove off into the city and threw Caillou out of the car, where everyone could see Caillou's little pecker and laughed at how small it was. Caillou, then ran around crying until the police handcuffed him to a tree and threw the key away as his punishment for indecent exposure. THE END

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 **A/N: Hey guys! If you like this story, suggest an item that can cause Rosie's death in the reviews and I will make a story around it!**


	2. Nail Gun

**A/N: Hey guys! for those who have followed this story, sorry if it took kinda long... I've been really busy at college lately, but I've finally found time for this! Thanks for the review Donunttakemeserious! As requested, here it is! Lastly, don't forget, if you want to see Rosie get picked off by a certain item, post it in the reviews, and if the reviews are good, I will make a series for the whiny little bald head himself!**

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One Saturday morning, Caillou was just downstairs in the living Room of his house playing with his plastic toy soldiers. He had just learned about the American War of Independence when his playgroup went to the local world history museum for a field trip. He thought that the bravery of the soldiers was very inspiring, that he decided to re-enact the Battle of Cowpens with his plastic army men. His imagination was unstoppable until Rosie walked into the room.

She saw Caillou's plastic soldiers and decided to knock them over with her duck pull toy, giggling afterwards. This made Caillou really angry. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID ROSIE! THE AMERICANS NOW LOST THE BATTLE THEY SHOULD HAVE WON AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Then out of blind anger, the bratty four-year-old punched his sister in the face really, really hard, causing Rosie to cry and her nose to bleed. Eventually, Mommy was drawn to Rosie's crying like a moth to the flame and upon reaching the living room, saw Rosie sobbing while holding her nose, frantically trying to stop the bleeding.

Mommy then carried Rosie and asked Caillou, "WHAT DID YOU DO CAILLOU?!" while shooting him a dirty look. Of course, Caillou tried to feign innocence and hoped that Mommy was dumb enough to buy it. "Stop lying to me Caillou!" Mommy yelled at him. "Caillou punch Rosie!" Cried his sister while still holding her bloody nose. Mommy was not taking anymore of this nonsense. "That's it Caillou! Since you lied to me and hurt your sister, there will be no dessert for you tonight! Now apologize to Rosie!" Of course, the whiny little piece of crap tried to protest.

"But-" "No Buts," Mommy cut him off, "Say you're Sorry!" Caillou then begrudgingly apologized to Rosie, whose crying turned into a smile in a matter of seconds.

A little later, Caillou was in his room throwing his toys around while cursing Rosie. "Ugh! I hate Rosie! She always gets away with everything, even if it is her fault!" Caillou thought to himself while throwing blocks on the wall. He finally had enough of throwing his toys around and decided to go take a breather in the backyard.

Caillou made his way to the backyard, but did not play on the swings nor the sandbox; he just sat down on the porch and breathed in the fresh air.

He was finally having a relaxing session, until Rosie arrived carrying her bunny toy with her. "Caillou, play with bunny!" Rosie said enthusiastically while holding it in front of his face. He couldn't believe it! After getting him in trouble, Rosie was the last person he wanted to play with, and she was forcing him to play with her! So Caillou stood up, grabbed the bunny from Rosie, tore its head off and threw it in her face. "GO AWAY ROSIE! I DON'T WANNA PLAY WITH YOU!"

Of course, Rosie started crying again and instead of just standing there like a crybaby, she kicked Caillou in the groin. "OW! TAKE THIS!" Caillou shoved Rosie backwards, and after falling down flat on her back, her hand accidentally pressed the trigger of Daddy's nail gun, which just happened to be lying there and pointing at her head. Caillou was so amused at seeing the person who cost him dessert crying in so much pain, that he did not take the severely weakened Rosie's hand off the the trigger, which kept shooting nails into her head until she died, lying in a pool of blood coming from her nose, eyes, mouth and ears. Caillou smiled, now that his nuisance of a sister was gone.

"Good riddance!" he said to himself. He turned around to go back into the house, but was really surprised to see Mommy and Daddy standing behind him, apparently having witnessed the whole ordeal.

Without saying a word, they literally dragged Caillou into the car, drove off to the park and hung him by his underwear on the flagpole, where he was displayed on CNN as the kid who was "Hanging on the flagpole with an atomic wedgie" and was never taken down. THE END


	3. Toilet

Mommy and Daddy were really busy getting ready for a wedding. They darted to and fro around the house looking for various objects, such as the present for the couple, their invitations, and the like.

While waiting for Julie to arrive, Caillou and Rosie were just in the living room, playing with their toys and not really minding their busy parents. That soon changed when the doorbell rang. "Rosie! Julie's here!" cried Caillou.

"Julie here! Julie here!" repeated Rosie excitedly. Caillou's parents then answered the door and were greeted by Julie. "Hi Julie!" yelled Caillou as the two kids ran to hug their Babysitter. "All right you two, behave ok?" Mommy said. "Ok Mommy!" Caillou replied. After that, the three watched as Mommy and Daddy drove off to the wedding.

An hour later, Julie was in the kitchen serving Rosie and Caillou their dinner, until her cellphone rang. She checked to see who called her and started blushing afterwards.

"Caillou," Julie began, "My friend is calling me, can you please be a big boy and feed your little sister? I'll be back." Being the irritating turd he is, began to tease Julie, seeing her face was sort of red. "Julie has a boyfriend! Julie has a boyfriend!"

"Oh, stop it Caillou!" a blushing Julie said before heading out to the backyard.

Caillou picked up Rosie's spoon, scooped up the mashed potatoes and tried to feed it to Rosie, who for some reason, didn't want to eat. "Come on Rosie, you have to eat if you want chocolate cake!"

"Rosie don't want to eat! Rosie want to play!" She said, hurling her teddy bear across the kitchen. Caillou was a little irritated with Rosie not wanting to eat. "You can play after you finish your food! Please?" begged Caillou. "NO!" yelled Rosie, throwing her sippy cup, its contents spilling upon hitting the floor. Caillou was getting really getting pissed now.

"Rosie…" Caillou said softly, anger and frustration clearly in his voice, "if you do not eat, Julie will not let you play, so please eat?" Rosie apparently didn't think Caillou got her message. "ROSIE SAY NO!" yelled the two year old girl who then smacked her bowl off her high chair, spilling her dinner all over Caillou.

"THAT'S IT!" screamed Caillou. He then grabbed his sister by the hair and threw her off the high chair, her face hitting the floor first. Before she could start crying, Caillou started dragging Rosie to the upstairs bathroom by her hair, kicking her everytime she squirmed.

When they reached the upstairs bathroom, Caillou threw Rosie on the floor. "Caillou! Sorry!" "APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED!" yelled the spoiled little brat. He then kicked Rosie in the stomach and used her as a trampoline, until the toilet gave him an idea. He pulled Rosie by her hair again, put her head on the toilet seat and started slamming the lid on her head. "YOU…. ARE… SUCH… A… LITTLE… BRAT! YOU… THINK… THAT… EVERYTHING… HAPPENS… THE… WAY… YOU… WANT… IT! WELL…. WAKE… UP… YOU… ARE… WRONG! AGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Caillou muttered in between each slam on Rosie's head, that she died even before Caillou finished the whole sentence.

When he was finished, Rosie's head and face were bleeding so much, that the toilet's inside looked as if someone crapped blood and the top of Rosie's dress was stained scarlet. The walls of the bathroom were also stained with Rosie's blood.

Caillou's parents and Julie chanced upon the scene in the bathroom and were too shocked at what they saw, that Julie passed out. "Caillou," Daddy said after his mind fully processed the scene, "You are going to live in a new home." "Where Daddy?" Caillou asked.

"MOMMY! DADDY! I'M SORRY! PLEASE! NO!" yelled Caillou, punching and kicking the locked front door of Mr. Hinkle's house. "Oh, come on Caillou, we're gonna have lots and lots of fun!" He turned around to see a shirtless Mr. Hinkle, who walked towards Caillou while rubbing his hairy nipples and laughing like a maniac just about to taste the most delicious cake in the world.

When he reached the four year old kid, he pulled down both Caillou's pants and underwear in one go. Guiness World Records also found their world record for the loudest scream in pain that night. THE END

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 **A/N: Hey GhebTheSchmexy! Here's your toilet story and thanks for the review! I also love your Caillou stories by the way, especially Caillou's Wonderland!**


	4. Sledgehammer

**A/N: The guest who reviewed this story just happened to be my good friend, who forgot to place the death item in her review, so she messaged it to me on Facebook. To Psychowriter14, thank you for the review, I am almost done with the Car chapter by the way, all I need to think of as of this point is the way Caillou gets his comeuppance. So in the meantime, enjoy this chapter!**

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The thought of the pumpkin smashing competition at the upcoming county fair excited Caillou very much. He and Rosie loved watching Daddy practice smashing some pumpkins they brought home from their most recent visit to Grandpa's pumpkin patch with Daddy's new sledgehammer, because of the sound the pumpkins made upon contact with the hammer, and because the juice always splattered on Caillou and Rosie, some of which went into their mouths, after sticking their tongues out to receive the juice.

"Mmmmmmmm..." They both said in unison while rubbing their tummies and giggling afterwards. "Alright you two," Daddy said, wiping sweat from from his forehead, "It's time to get cleaned up." As usual, Caillou, being the brat he is, didn't want to go and take a bath. "Awwww, but Daddy, I wanna smash pumpkins!" "Caillou," Daddy said after picking up Rosie, "We can do it tomorrow, the county fair is coming in two days, which leaves us with one more day to practice!" Caillou then agreed to go in and take a bath reluctantly.

After his bath, Caillou stayed in his room, playing with his new power rangers action figure, which he got for his 5th birthday. Rosie walked into his room a few minutes later, and saw Caillou's prized toy, wanting to play with it too. Without warning, Rosie attempted to grab the toy from Caillou, and it soon turned into a tug-o-war game for the action figure. "Rosie! Play with your own toys!" Caillou yelled. "Rosie Play!" yelled the two-year-old girl. After struggling so much, the toy broke into two, with the upper body in Caillou's possession. Upon seeing the broken toy, a furious Caillou tackled Rosie to the ground, and started strangling her.

Mommy was vacuuming the upstairs hallway, and became petrified with fear upon seeing what was happening to Rosie. "CAILLOU! STOP!" She darted for Caillou and pulled him off Rosie, whose eyes were now super red and who was coughing violently. "Hush Rosie," Mommy said with so much worry in her voice, that she sounded like she was going to cry, "Are you okay sweetie?" After coughing so much, Rosie vomited all over Caillou's floor and started crying.

Mommy then turned her attention to Caillou, who was trying to buy sympathy from Mommy by making a puppy face. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU CAILLOU?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ROSIE?!" "But Mommy," Caillou cried, "Rosie broke my toy! Whahahahaha!" This made Mommy angrier. "CAILLOU, A BROKEN TOY IS NO REASON TO ATTEMPT TO MURDER YOUR SISTER! THAT'S IT CAILLOU! YOU ARE GROUNDED! YOU WILL NOT BE GOING WITH US TO THE COUNTY FAIR!" Caillou then ran out of his room crying harder, while thinking, "STUPID STUPID ROSIE! I WILL KILL HER!"

Later that night, Caillou snuck into Rosie's room and went to her bedside. "Psst, Rosie?" "Mhmmmm? Caillou?" Responded his half-awake sister. "Shhhhhhh, Rosie... lets go to the playroom, I know a fun game we can play!" Said Caillou, with every intention of killing Rosie burried deep in his heart. "Yay! Heeheehee!" Said Rosie as she got out of her bed to follow Caillou. Upon reaching the playroom, Caillou turned on the lights, locked the door and blindfolded Rosie.

"Huh? Why Rosie blindfold?" asked Rosie. "It is because..." Caillou said while carrying Daddy's sledgehammer, "We're going to play piñata!" Rosie felt the violent blow of the sledgehammer on her stomach that she fell down to the floor, letting out an ear-piercing cry. "SHUT YOUR MOUTH, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Caillou said while smashing Rosie's legs, so much that she could feel the bones shatter in her legs, losing her ability to walk. Mommy and Daddy woke up to Rosie's cries and searched both their children's bedrooms before heading downstairs to the playroom.

The door to the playroom was locked, so they resorted to making an improvised battering ram to open the door, hitting it harder with each cry Rosie let out. When the door finally came off its hinges, they saw a blood trail on the floor leading to a bruised and bloody Rosie and Caillou's arms raised, ready to smash Rosie's head. "DIE!" Yelled Caillou as he brought down the hammer, which destroyed Rosie's head upon impact, splattering blood, brain matter and bone shards all over the place. Mommy screamed and ran to Rosie's mostly headless corpse (Her chin and tongue still remained), crying frantically.

"CAILLOU..." Daddy began to yell, but quickly calmed down in order to let Caillou's guard down, "Tomorrow, Mommy and I will make you a special juice for breakfast." Caillou became really surprised that Daddy did not yell at him and asked, "What kind of juice Daddy?" "Oh Caillou, its a surprise!" Daddy replied, grinning mischievously.

The next morning, Caillou ran downstairs to find Mommy and Daddy preparing juice, who discreetly poured ultra strong laxatives into the drink. Caillou drank around five cups of the juice, each containing laxative, causing him to crap in his pajama pants, which left a huge stain that reached even the hem of his legs. Caillou threw his crap- stained pants away and started searching his drawer desperately for new pants, but all his pants were gone! He also tried to get into every single bathroom in the house, all of which were locked. He was such a retard, that he ran out of the house and around the city, crapping in every nook and cranny. The police soon restrained him and plugged his butthole with a cork, but this was one of the worst decisions they made because the entire city was soon destroyed by a huge tidal wave of crap. THE END


	5. Car

**A/N: Hey Psychowriter14, sorry if this took kinda long... I've been busy doing enrollment stuff for the incoming semester in my college. Anyway, Enjoy!**

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Caillou was in the backyard, very busy painting Mommy a picture for her birthday. He was so proud of the picture he painted, but he needed one more thing: red paint to color the shirt of Mommy, which he did not have. Caillou ran into the house to search for red paint, leaving a big mess in his room. When he finally found the red paint, he hurried to the backyard eager to finish his work, but what he saw made him so sad, angry and shocked all at the same time.

"ROSIE! WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Caillou ran to his easel and saw his ruined masterpiece: a giant splash of green paint that covered the picture which of course, Rosie did. Caillou then began to cry. "This is all your fault! I HATE YOU!" Caillou then picked up a sharp stone around the size of his hand and hit Rosie on the face with it, giving her a horrible, bloody gash under her left eye.

Mommy heard both her children crying in the backyard and quickly went to investigate. She immediately carried Rosie, put pressure on her wound upon seeing blood dripping from her face and looked at a wailing Caillou holding a ruined picture. "I don't want Rosie to be my sister anymore!" Caillou complained. "Oh Cailou," Mommy began, "why would you say that?" "She ruined the picture I was going to give you for your birthday Mommy! Wahhhhhhh!" Mommy sighed and took the picture from Caillou. Mommy felt really sorry for Caillou, knowing that he wouldn't shut his annoying trap for the past few weeks about how that picture was going to be a surprise, only for it to be ruined by Rosie.

"Caillou, It's alright. It's the thought that counts, and I still think it is a wonderful picture. Thank you." Mommy said to Caillou, causing him to smile. "However," Mommy continued in a stern tone of voice, "just because Rosie destroyed your picture, that doesn't give you the right to hurt her like this. I checked her wound and it is bad enough that a doctor needs to see it."

Caillou was crying in his bed that night; Daddy so mad at him after they came home from the hospital because Rosie's wound needed stitching and that she had to drink very expensive antibiotics for a few years. Caillou was very mad at Rosie since he felt it was her fault Mommy's gift was ruined and that their Parents had to pay for an expensive medical treatment that they had to cancel their trip to France. Then Caillou got an idea: his parents would have to spend less if they only had one kid, and he wanted to get revenge on Rosie for the ruined picture; he was going to kill her.

Caillou opened the door to Rosie's room as quietly as he could and tiptoed towards his sleeping sister. Upon reaching the bed, Caillou tied Rosie's hand and feet with the tightest knots he knew and placed a gag around her mouth. As he carried the sack that contained Rosie down the stairs, he tried being as quiet as he could, which was kind of hard since she was pretty heavy for Caillou, but they eventually made it outside the house. Caillou waited for a few moments and before he knew it, a black car with a flame and 8-ball paintjob pulled over in front of Caillou's house.

"Hey there kid!" called out the street punk looking guy driving the car. "Sid's the name, by the way. Got the booty?" "In here." Caillou said, pointing to the sack with Rosie inside it. "Alright, get in." Sid said. On the way to the junkyard, Caillou memorized the way going home, so he could run from the gang later on. When they reached the junkyard, two guys and a girl came out of a small shack to greet Sid. After introducing Caillou to his fellow gang members, one of them asked who they were gonna "tear apart". Caillou then opened the sack and there was a bound and gagged Rosie who was so teary eyed.

"Alrightie Caillou," said Kaya the female gangster, "just sit back and enjoy the show." The gangsters then tied Rosie's hands and legs with rope and attatched the other ends to the back of four cars, all pointing in different directions. On Caillou's go, all four of them stepped down on the gas pedals, tearing off Rosie's limbs. As the limbless Rosie cried violently, Caillou walked up to her and chopped her head off with an axe, putting an end to his sister's life.

When the gang members came back, they could not find whatever was left of Rosie, nor Caillou. "CAILLOU! WE'RE GONNA GET YOU!" yelled Sid.

The next morning, Daddy went downstairs to prepare breakfast and saw something weird outside the window. What he saw when he went outside made him really nauseous: Rosie's head, limbs and the limbless body were all impaled on stilts! "CAILLOU!" Yelled Daddy, jolting Caillou awake and making him run down the stairs and outside the house, where a furious Mommy and Daddy were waiting for him. Before they could even yell at him for the sickening display he put in front of their house, Sid's gang arrived at the house and knocked out Mommy, Daddy and Caillou.

At the Carnival, Sid's gang put up a booth where people could hit Mommy, Daddy and Caillou's bare butts with Cricket bats. Their butts were so red, that one could compare its shade of red to a tomato. Apparently, one retarded person (no offense meant) did think the crimson butts were tomatoes and left bite marks on the butts of Caillou and his parents. THE END


	6. Meat Cleaver

_Note: For those who aren't very familiar with the series, this story takes place after the episode "Big brother Caillou", meaning Caillou and Rosie are 2 and 0 years old respectively._

Caillou was a very intelligent and convincing actor for a two-year-old boy. After Daddy had scolded him for pinching his newborn baby sister, he used his "cuteness" to put up the charade that he did like Rosie after all, and Mommy and Daddy totally fell for it. He even contemplated on the thought of dropping Rosie after Mommy let him carry her. The next day, Caillou's dislike for his baby sister turned into intense hatred when relatives from both Mommy and Daddy's sides of the family came over to see Rosie, with everyone ignoring Caillou.

As a last resort to get attention, Caillou went into the family room and tried to sing one of his nursery rhymes, something everyone would normally praise him for. Caillou did not get the attention he wanted; everyone paused to look at him for a brief moment before turning their attention back to Rosie, causing Caillou to run upstairs to his room and sob like the stupid crybaby everyone knows him to be.

"Nobody loves me anymore! They only care about that stupid baby!" he thought to himself. Caillou decided that he would not take this any longer. Caillou then stood up, grabbed his pillow and squeezed it really hard clenching his teeth while doing so and thought, "I'm going to make everyone pay attention to me again!"

That night while everyone was asleep, Caillou walked over to his drawer and pulled out two sets of soundproof earplugs. He tiptoed quietly down the hallway and peered into Mommy and Daddy's room to find his two parents sleeping peacefully. "Good, this is going to be easier than I thought." Caillou was also a very light person; being able to tiptoe towards the bed and place the earplugs in his parents' ears without waking them was definitely proof of that.

His next goal was to go to the kitchen and get Mommy's meat cleaver, which was successfully done without triggering the burglar alarm, courtesy of Caillou's light step.

After reaching the top of the stairs again, he opened the door of the nursery as quietly as he could and found his target: Rosie sound asleep in her crib just like Mommy and Daddy. Caillou climbed into Rosie's crib and started hacking at her violently, splashing blood on him and on the walls, sending particles of Rosie's internal organs flying and even cutting off her body parts like her hands and her right leg. Mommy and Daddy could not hear their newborn daughter's cries; while Caillou brutally butchered his baby sister, the earplugs blocked the noise the baby monitor in the Master bedroom made.

Caillou stopped hacking Rosie's now messed up corpse and then wrecked the entire nursery, before getting rid of all the evidence of his activities that night (except for the destroyed nursery).

The next morning, Daddy woke up half-awake and went downstairs to prepare pancakes for breakfast. He opened the refrigerator to get the eggs for the mix and screamed "ROSIE!" so loud that that everyone in the house woke up. Mommy first checked the nursery, which looked as if a hurricane hit the place; torn baby clothes were strewn all over the place, all the furniture was toppled over, all of Rosie's toys were destroyed, the dresser had fallen to the floor and broke in two, the crib looked as if a wrecking ball smashed it, and her baby bottles and pacifiers were now unrecognizable objects.

Mommy ran downstairs to see Daddy and Caillou sobbing like infants and joining them too after seeing Rosie's head and incomplete body inside the refrigerator. "Daddy than stood up with an angry look on his face and said, "THAT'S IT! TIME TO LOOK AT THE SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE!" Caillou then stopped crying and thought "OH NO, I'M SO SCREWED!"

A few minutes later, Mommy and Daddy went back to the kitchen really angry that they gave Caillou the scariest glares in the world; even the devil himself would cringe upon seeing their faces. Caillou covered his ears to brace himself for the screaming that would follow. "SO YOU KILLED YOU SISTER HUH, YOU LITTLE PUNK! WHY?! NOT GETTING ENOUGH ATTENTION?!" Daddy yelled so loud that all animals hanging out in their backyard fled immediately. Caillou started crying. "CAILLOU, DO YOU REALIZE THAT BABIES CANNOT DO ANYTHING FOR THEMSELVES YET?! THAT IS WHY WE WERE FOCUSING ON ROSIE!" Mommy yelled.

Caillou was mad now, so he yelled back, "FUCK BOTH OF YOU! NOT EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY TAKES CARE OF ROSIE AND YESTERDAY, ALL OF THEM TREATED ME LIKE A DIRT SANDWICH! I HATE BOTH OF YOU! YOU SHOULD HAVE ABORTED THAT STUPID GINGER BITCH!"

Caillou then grabbed the meat cleaver and Rosie's corpse and proceeded to continue chopping it up. Mommy and Daddy were so appalled at their son's brutality and his ability to cuss at his age that they bound him with barbwire and put twelve layers of duct tape over his mouth to drown out his whiny irritating cries.

Mommy and Daddy took Caillou to a Game of Thrones comic-con, but he did not know why they put a blonde wig on him, dressed him up in rich red robes, and put a crown that looked like was made of stag antlers on his head. "In this costume party, your character is a King!" Daddy told Caillou. "You should order them around and if they don't follow you, hurt them!" Mommy said. Caillou was so stupid, he actually thought that he was officially a king now and that he could order anyone around. Mommy and Daddy laughed their butts off once Caillou got out of the car.

When Caillou entered the building, everyone stopped and looked at him angrily. Caillou then broke the silence by ordering a guy dressed up as Robb Stark to get him a drink. "What's the matter? You deaf? I said GET ME A DRINK!" Caillou yelled before kicking the guy in the crotch. "GET HIM!" yelled a random guy in the crowd. Soon, Caillou was getting beat up by an army of angry geeks yelling "Death to Joffrey!" before a guy dressed as Ramsay Bolton chopped Caillou's penis off, earning cheers from everyone who celebrated "Joffrey's castration" by eating sausages in front of Caillou. THE END


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